The longer I was in labor and the stronger / more frequent my contractions became, the more I felt like I was receding into my own head. I wasn’t very aware of what was going on around me, what people were saying. You really get into the zone! I had no sense of the passing of time. I know she checked me after a few hours and I was at a 6. I kept switching positions depending on how I was feeling, and Tay, Abbey and the nurse would apply counter pressure to my hips and lower back. That was incredibly helpful in getting me through the contractions, which had become so powerful at this point. The counter pressure gave me something to focus on through the contractions, but more than that it made me feel like I was supported and that I wasn’t in it alone.
After a few more hours, she checked me again andI was still at a 6. I was so physically exhausted by this point, Taylor literally held me up so that I didn’t have to carry my own body weight. He was amazing throughout the whole thing, encouraging me, telling me how strong I was. Because I’d been at a 6 for so long, the doctor asked if I wanted them to break my water. I agreed, mostly because I was so so tired that I wasn’t sure how long my body could continue.
Breaking my water may have made my contractions slightly more intense, but I honestly didn’t notice a huge difference. It definitely sped things up though! Probably an hour or so later (I think??) I was at an 8, and through my contractions I became vaguely aware that they were preparing the room for delivery. I felt the urge to push and told my nurse. She checked and I was at a 10! It’s true what they say, your body pushes involuntarily. It was so weird! I originally hadn’t wanted to push at all – I wanted to relax and ‘breathe’ the baby down as they say in hypnobirthing. The doctor seemed a little concerned about the baby’s heart rate, and suddenly I was so nervous that the baby was in distress (Taylor told me later that this was never the case, I was confused). Either way, I was scared for him and wanted him OUT. I began to push as hard as I could. Taylor said he could see baby’s hair! Tay had his arms around me, encouraging me. The doctor said I was SO CLOSE. I could see the anticipation and excitement in Taylor’s face. I pushed again and felt something give, I knew I had torn which I was SO afraid of, but honestly it just felt like a relief because now there was more room for the baby! A few more pushes and they were lifting up my beautiful boy.
I have the image engrained in my memory of my baby’s perfect, curled little body and head full of dark hair. They placed him on my chest and he was so sweet and so perfect! He blinked at the bright lights and Taylor shielded him from them with his body as we sat and stared at his perfect little features, just taking him in. He looked like me. Taylor was so proud, you could hear it in his voice as he pointed out every cute little detail of our baby’s face.
It was the most magical moment, I would relive it again and again if I could! I can’t describe the love we have for our little Emmett, he is our WORLD.